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Post by thedegenerateelite on Apr 20, 2012 17:08:13 GMT -6
Or not.
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norse
Level 5 Thaumaturgist
And it's cold, so cold at the Edge of Time.
Posts: 233
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Post by norse on Apr 20, 2012 19:14:08 GMT -6
Well, you asked for it. You silly person you. Supplement IX: Bards & BoybandsMen & MagicIn this supplement we introduce a new character class, the 'Bard'. In the Bard & Boyband style of campaign, this is the only class available to player characters. It is a little like the previous character class, the Bard, except that they're useless. Generally, the 'Bard' relies on the magic of their hirelings to present the illusion that they can a) sing, and b) aren't ugly as duck. They also rely on a new class of Specialist Hireling, the Advertising Goon, in order to persuade people that they're worth listening to. The 'Bard'| Bards | Experience Points | Dice for Accumulative Hits | Fighting Capability | Profitability | | Boyzone | 0 | 1 | Man (really?) | 17 | | Westlife | 1,200 | 1+1 | Man+1 | 16 | | New Edition | 2,400 | 2 | 2 Men | 15 | | The Osmonds | 4,800 | 2+1 | 2 Men+1 | 14 | | Boyz II Men | 9,600 | 3 | 3 Men | 13 | | *NSYNC | 19,200 | 3+1 | 3 Men+1 | 12 | | Take That | 38,400 | 4 | Hero -1 | 11 | | The Jackson 5 | 76,800 | 5 | Hero | 10 | | New Kids on the Block | 153,600 | 6 | Hero+1 | 9 | | Backstreet Boys | 307,200 | 7 | Superhero-1 | 8 |
A 'Bards' saving throws are the same as an equivalent level Fighting Man. A 'Bards' Profitability rating is the number on a 20 sided dice or higher required to get a crowd to listen to them. Each Advertising Goon in their employ will allow one extra attempt at this roll per settlement (a Boyband is always allowed one roll per night on their own). New Spells1st LevelPitch Correction: Allows the targets to sound as if they can sing perfectly. This spell targets up to four individuals and lasts for 1 hour. Monsters & TreasureNew MonstersCrowdAs a fairly realistic abstraction of actuality, a Boyband of 'Bards' must fight and defeat this new type of monster in a gig in order to gain any money or experience points from the encounter. Of course, we don't imagine that these 'Bards' are actually beating up their audience (though it might sound like it) it's just a simplification of what could otherwise be an overly convoluted mechanic for what is essentially a joke. There are 3 types of Crowd depending on where your 'Bards' are performing: | Monster Type | Number Appearing | Armour Class | Hit Dice | % in Liar | Treasure Type | | Hamlet/Village | 2-7 | 8 | 1 | 100 | D | | Town | 2-7 | 6 | 3 | 100 | F | | City | 3-8 | 4 | 5 | 100 | H |
A crowd will only turn up on a successful Profitability roll as described in Men & Magic. One crowd can be performed at each night, and only as many crowds will turn up in one month (per settlement) as the level of the least experienced 'Bard' in the Boyband. The Underworld & Wilderness AdventuresA Bards & Boybands campaign is for the most part concerned with action going on in the various settlements of your world. Any dungeon delving is likely to be relatively rare, and with most of the work being done by hirelings. In this campaign, the player characters will form the members of a Boyband, and simulate it's career in a fantasy world. As such, the first and most difficult job for a Bards & Boybands referee will be to map out the country through which the Boyband will be adventuring. There will need to be a number of settlements of various sizes, and perhaps a dungeon or two to spice things up. Monster lairs, castles and the like can be placed as normal too. The Boyband should begin play with one first level magic-user retainer, who will have the Pitch Correction spell in his spell book. 'Performing' is not possible without the use of this spell, and the magic-using sound technician will expect a full share of the profits. Further sound technicians can be hired as normal, as can roadies and the like in the usual fashion. The Advertising Goon is a new type of specialist hireling. They will expect to be paid 100 gp/month and each Advertising Goon hired will allow one extra Profitability roll per night in each settlement visited. |
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Post by thedegenerateelite on Apr 20, 2012 21:34:58 GMT -6
Hahaha. That's hilarious.
"It is a little like the previous character class, the Bard, except that they're useless. Generally, the 'Bard' relies on the magic of their hirelings to present the illusion that they can a) sing, and b) aren't ugly as duck."
This bit is awesome!!!!
I thought I had too much time on my hands.
And I just spent an hour and half putting dots in the center of all the hexes on my PanzerBlitz mapboards to make using the alternate line of sight rules easier.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Apr 20, 2012 22:07:01 GMT -6
Right, this thread has gotten too silly. On to the next thread.
Cue Telescine, ten nine eight and all that.
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norse
Level 5 Thaumaturgist
And it's cold, so cold at the Edge of Time.
Posts: 233
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Post by norse on Apr 21, 2012 3:31:45 GMT -6
Worrying thing is I'm actually quite tempted to run this now! Hahaha. That's hilarious. "It is a little like the previous character class, the Bard, except that they're useless. Generally, the 'Bard' relies on the magic of their hirelings to present the illusion that they can a) sing, and b) aren't ugly as duck." This bit is awesome!!!! Why thank you. Time well spent sir! I'm an ASL man myself. And now for something completely different.  |
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Post by DungeonDevil on Apr 21, 2012 13:06:31 GMT -6
Lulz. Exalt!
You forgot, however, Justin Bieber and One Direction.
Special Ability: Awesome Hair/Unruly Bangs
The Awesome Hair/Unruly Bangs ability causes tween and teen girls to swoon uncontrollably and causes them to emit glass-shattering squees of distaff ecstasy. Any within a 100' radius of such a dinfull throng are disabled by the distress to the ear canals and must suffer a -2 to any rolls or saves.
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Post by nizrad on Apr 21, 2012 19:16:55 GMT -6
I think I may have some friends that would play in a game like this. Other variations of the class could include the "Garage Metal" type whose thrashing tunes could invoke destrustive bar-fights(mosh pits) and the Barbershop Quartet"" type who's music can influence it's listeners to literally get a shave and a haircut.
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Post by DungeonDevil on Apr 25, 2012 13:05:13 GMT -6
I think I may have some friends that would play in a game like this. Other variations of the class could include the "Garage Metal" type whose thrashing tunes could invoke destrustive bar-fights(mosh pits) and the Barbershop Quartet"" type who's music can influence it's listeners to literally get a shave and a haircut. And don't forget the world-famous Gangsta Shop Quartet! |
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