When to walk away...

[ihavetilfive]

Hey all,

First time poster, been lurking for a little while. If this is posted in the wrong spot, move it to the appropriate one if necessary. That being said....

I've been playing D&D in some form for about 4 years, (more if you count WFRP in high school - we got away with that when the parents banned D&D). I've just started DMing a few months ago and feel like this is what I'm supposed to do. Anyway, I've played tournament games, weekly games, every other week games in 1e, S&W, 3.5, 4e and with a number of different kinds of players. But what happens when there's a personal issue and you don't think that there can be a mutually satisfying resolution? How and when do you draw the line? Would this process be different as a DM than as a player? I haven't had to deal with with this on a personal level until now and am just wondering how anybody else has handled this in the past or maybe going through this now.

[Deleted]

Well ... I would say you handle this the same way you would handle any other problem between mature adults. Get the offending person or persons into relaxed surroundings, then be respectful and very plain about the problem and the consequences of said problem(s) continuing.

[chgowiz]

Feb 4, 2010 20:01:31 GMT -6 ihavetilfive said:

But what happens when there's a personal issue and you don't think that there can be a mutually satisfying resolution? How and when do you draw the line? Would this process be different as a DM than as a player? I haven't had to deal with with this on a personal level until now and am just wondering how anybody else has handled this in the past or maybe going through this now.

This is a hard question to answer. Do you mean walk away from the current game group? Or the campaign?

Dubeers has good advice - try to work it out, if you can't - be adults (or reasonable facsimiles and walk away)

When I had an issue with a player in my campaign, I tried to work it out, but in the end, I didn't invite him back. The relief from stress has been amazing.

[Deleted]

Indeed a hard question. If you're the DM faced with a problem player, talk with them privately & attempt to resolve the situation amicably. If that fails, the advice of chgowiz above works wonders. I never want to kick players out of the game, but if I have to, I will. And happily, I might add.

If (as a player) you have an issue with a fellow player in the group, try discussing the problem with the other player privately, & on a mature level (as dubeers mentioned above). Chances are, whatever the offending player is doing to bother YOU is more than likely bothering OTHER players in the group as well. After you've done this, & the problem continues, talk to your DM about it. If for what ever reason nothing is resolved, you might have to consider leaving the group. Both your nerves & your sanity will thank you in the long run.

If (as a player) the DM is doing something that bothers you, this can be tricky. You can always discuss the issue privately, but the DM is the final word in his campaign. If talking doesn't remedy the situation, the only recourse you have left is to find another game to play in. If the DM shows favoritism or engages in any other unseemly & unsportsmanlike (for lack of a better word) activities affecting the group, he'll quickly find himself with no players & no game.

Hope this helps!

[delve]

Hmmm... I'm trying to decipher which angle you are approaching this. Are you saying that the people you are gaming with or a certain member is being a problem?. Or is the group just leading into a direction you just don't enjoy?

I think we have all have had that bad game experience where you nearly fall asleep while a player argued with the DM over rules and so on. A lot of people have their own concept of how to play the game. Styles may clash but sometimes it adds flavor to the game. But also it can make a game session suffer if the group doesn't work as a team.

The DM should step in and get things under control. Try talking to your DM maybe. If there is too much goofing around and nothing gets accomplished. A bad DM can make a game session lousy.

If you are not having fun, then find a new group.

[Thangobrind]

What Delve said.

Also, I can't help hearing the voice of the musclebound, hockey-masked guy from Mad Max II when I read the title of this thread... "Just walk away..."

www.youtube.com/watch?v=_TL4XZdyo3g