We lost a gamer today

[Deleted]

She was one of the first people I ever played D&D with and one of the funniest, most creative and consistent members of my core group.

In addition to this, she was a world class lady and the best friend I ever had. She's done so much for me over the years. Always there to listen, to hang out, to give advice. She gave me a place to stay, food to eat, an education, moral support, the whole nine yards.

The first and greatest thing she did for me was to bring me into this world. RIP Mama. I know you would want me to carry on. I'll keep your dice and character sheets in a place of honor until their story can continue again someday.

I don't know if it's appropriate to share these sentiments here but I feel grief. That's just love that doesn't know where to go. I hope you all spend as much quality time with your loved ones as you're able while you can. You never know when it will be time to say goodbye.

[tetramorph]

@ampleframework , thanks for sharing this.

I am so sorry for your loss.

May your mother rest in peace.

Blessings.

[Deleted]

Oct 10, 2021 17:21:30 GMT -6 tetramorph said:

@ampleframework , thanks for sharing this.

I am so sorry for your loss.

May your mother rest in peace.

Blessings.

Thank you. I'm still processing it. I know she wants me to carry on doing the things I love. I'm always going to think of her when doing some of those things, but as Gandalf said "Not all tears are an evil."

[tdenmark]

Words are inadequate to express sorrow over the passing of one's mother.
So sorry to hear of your loss.

[jeffb]

I'm very sorry to read this..

No words seem to ever actually help in these early times after such loss- at this point the grief is too raw. Looking back I know that I would have preferred some "real talk" vs. the "proper" things to say. Something hopeful.

So...some real talk...

I lost my Father when I was in my 20s and it was a long devastating illness. I can say that it will be a really tough row to hoe at first for your heart. Mine still hurts almost 30 years later.

BUT...

Over time the good memories- many of them small things you would never had given a second though to, or little flash thought of them from out of nowhere- will take over and help your heart heal. These will become more and more common. Eventually thinking about your Mom, will bring you much joy and the pain will be short and infrequent. I feel that is our parent's way of continuing to guide us along through our lives until we see them again with whatever awaits us all.

Good vibes and prayers for Her, and all that know and loved Her.

[Deleted]

Thanks for the kind words and prayers, guys.

She was diagnosed with non-alcoholic liver disease years back. It was a long and steady fight for her, but there's a limit to modern medicine and even the hardiest human constitution. Nobody ever fought harder or with a more optimistic outlook than she did. Her poor body finally just stopped.

I'm thankful her suffering is at an end. Now I have to make sure everyone else stays strong and positive so that we can lay her to rest and honor her memory. As Jeff said, there will be happy times and fond memories ahead. And hope for the future, both in this world and whatever dreams may come.

I hope someone else gets the liver she wasn't able to and I hope that person lives a long, happy life and that their loved ones are as happy and grateful as I would have been if Mama had made it. In a way, it's like she gave up her seat for someone else, and that's exactly what she would have done. To help in any way she could.

[rredmond]

Oh no @ampleframework I am so sorry for your loss. And so sorry she (and you and your family) had to go through that. Wishing peace and strength for you and your family, and the wonderful reminisces of her life.

[simrion]

Sincerest condolences for your loss. My siblings and I gathered just this AM for breakfast and to celebrate our Father's birthday. He passed from cancer back in 2015.

[Deleted]

Oct 11, 2021 17:38:12 GMT -6 simrion said:

Sincerest condolences for your loss. My siblings and I gathered just this AM for breakfast and to celebrate our Father's birthday. He passed from cancer back in 2015.

If anyone thinks of me five years after I'm gone, I will have considered my life worthwhile. The fact you all celebrate your father and reminisce speaks volumes about the kind of person he was. I can only imagine how my life will be five years from now. Five full years without the person who loves me the most and who was always there for me. It's going to be a long road. I have many other positive people and constructive hobbies in my life, but this is a big change, as I am sure you know.

[Deleted]

Oct 11, 2021 11:39:07 GMT -6 rredmond said:

Oh no @ampleframework I am so sorry for your loss. And so sorry she (and you and your family) had to go through that. Wishing peace and strength for you and your family, and the wonderful reminisces of her life.

There will be many wonderful reminisces, for certain. I have to be there to tuck her into her long sleep on Thursday, and that won't be easy. This isn't the first person I have had to help bury but it's the one that hits the hardest so far. There's a finality to that ceremony. It almost doesn't feel real or final until then. I'm relieved she's not suffering with every breath any more. Those last two years or so we're incredibly painful to behold. I can only imagine what she endured.

[premmy]

My condolences, ampleframework. Losing a parent is a terrible pain, and I know I'm lucky to still have my mother.

Here's one advice I have: if there's anything you wanted to tell her but never did, anything you regret keeping to yourself, tell it to someone. A partner, a friend, even just an acquaintance; it doesn't matter who. Don't keep it to yourself.

[tkdco2]

So sorry to hear about your mom's passing. My thoughts and prayers for your whole family.

[doublejig2]

As a person who recently lost my own mother, I empathize with your loss.

[tkdco2]

My condolences to you as well, doublejig2.

[doublejig2]

Thanks. Yeah, though not a regular at the gametable, my mom was Presta the Magic User for B1 in 1979. Moms and D&D; a tried and true combination. A great blessing.

[Deleted]

Oct 11, 2021 19:46:50 GMT -6 premmy said:

My condolences, ampleframework. Losing a parent is a terrible pain, and I know I'm lucky to still have my mother.

Here's one advice I have: if there's anything you wanted to tell her but never did, anything you regret keeping to yourself, tell it to someone. A partner, a friend, even just an acquaintance; it doesn't matter who. Don't keep it to yourself.

Good advice. I thankfully got to see her on a weekly basis and the last few years always treated every visit like it was my last so I'd have no regrets. We were close and she understood how I felt. Thankfully I do have someone to share such things with if need be.

[Deleted]

Oct 12, 2021 15:27:30 GMT -6 doublejig2 said:

Thanks. Yeah, though not a regular at the gametable, my mom was Presta the Magic User for B1 in 1979. Moms and D&D; a tried and true combination. A great blessing.

My mom was always a Magic-User, too. It's a good thing when you can have a family game night of that sort.

[oldskolgmr]

My condolences @ampleframework for your loss. No words can adequately convey the depth of what you and your family are going through. 
I can pass on some advice from the priest who presided at my mother's funeral, "Look after yourself and your family, take extra precautions driving through traffic, grief affects your ability to be present and alert, check to make sure that light is green."

My best wishes are with you. 

[Deleted]

Oct 12, 2021 16:24:19 GMT -6 oldskolgmr said:

My condolences @ampleframework for your loss. No words can adequately convey the depth of what you and your family are going through. 
I can pass on some advice from the priest who presided at my mother's funeral, "Look after yourself and your family, take extra precautions driving through traffic, grief affects your ability to be present and alert, check to make sure that light is green."

My best wishes are with you. 

Well, one good thing about all this is that we all live and work out in the country, and thankfully traffic isn't too rough on the back roads.

Now, when she was periodically unwell and hospitalized with her condition, it was a different story driving to and from the urban hospital in heavy traffic. I don't know who is in charge of road planning around Nashville but they missed a good chance at being a supervillain, and I don't even want to think about the parking.

So, thank the Lord that part is over at least. Much as I hated it, I know she would have. It was usually an ambulance ride for her, though. We are very much gravel road people. One more little ride for her down that old familiar road. She's getting buried at home, where she got to live up until nearly the end, in the family cemetery up on the hill behind her house. That's comforting at least. I will be able to go visit her every day if I want.

[Zenopus]

My condolences! It's really great that you played RPGs with her and she was part of your group.

[Aralaen]

My Condolences to your family and you.

[Mushgnome]

I'm sorry for your loss, ampleframework. My condolences.

[Starbeard]

I'm really sorry for your loss, mate. I doubt I have anything to say that can help in any way, but it speaks to you as a mensch that even though we've never met faces there are people here who are grieving for you. Your ma must have been a good woman to have raised you that way.

[Deleted]

Oct 13, 2021 13:28:01 GMT -6 Starbeard said:

I'm really sorry for your loss, mate. I doubt I have anything to say that can help in any way, but it speaks to you as a mensch that even though we've never met faces there are people here who are grieving for you. Your ma must have been a good woman to have raised you that way.

She was the best lady. Got to look at her today and spend a few hours with all my siblings. She's proud of what she left behind, I know. Among the personal items going in the ground with her are her emerald green game dice I bought her years back. There's always other adventures to be had, somewhere out there.

[mrmanowar]

I offer my condolences to you and your family(ampleframework). Also, belated condolences to doublejig2. Family passing is tough. My prayers are for you all to be comforted, at peace and having wisdom in how to proceed in the future.

[Deleted]

Laid her to rest today. I spoke for her. Being a games master leads naturally into being an ordained minister. That's the part the Satanic Panic folks never understood. She's sailed off to the Far Green Country now. I'll rest and gather my thoughts, now. Thanks everyone for helping me through this.

[rredmond]

Be well ampleframework. Strength and peace.

[bobjester0e]

My condolences, Ampleframework. (Same to doublejig2.) Its great that your Mama was willing to take part in the game. My Ma tried it years ago when I first got the game for Christmas, but didn't understand it, like a boardgame. She supported my hobby, and defended it against the satanic panic, because she valued a hobby that inspires creativity and good gamesmanship and fun.

Its good that you got to spend good quality time with her before she passed, even though now, it might not seem like enough time. I lost my Ma just over a year & a half ago, and I'm still going through her stuff, sorting it out, throwing away the packrat stuff and selling or giving away the crafts & materials. Her absence still hits me when I come across something I remember from my childhood.

Be well. Be comforted that our mothers are no longer suffering and are at peace.

[oldskolgmr]

doublejig2, my condolences to you as well. I was paying close attention, take care. 

As the Rabbi told me before my moms funeral, "Check three times to make sure the light is green, grief is akin to a state of shock that lasts for some time."

Personally, I needed my girlfriend to look after me post funeral. 

Best wishes to you, and your family. 
 

[oldskolgmr]

bobjester0e I apologize. I did not read your post as carefully as I would like to.
My deepest condolences to you and your family.

My Sister and I had to go through the same process with our Mom belongings. (For me a lot of memories are hidden in unique personal effects, after awhile I have given most everything to my Sis because I become too melancholy).