John Boorman's Lord of the Rings screenplay

[geoffrey]

Written in 1970. I have it. My summaries and thoughts below.

[aldarron]

Screenplays are estimated to average out as 1 minute of screen time for every page of script. So Boorman was aiming for a three hour movie. Geoffrey, it would be interesting to know where the script starts and finishes in the LotR narrative.

[geoffrey]

Nov 5, 2011 16:42:01 GMT -6 aldarron said:

Screenplays are estimated to average out as 1 minute of screen time for every page of script. So Boorman was aiming for a three hour movie. Geoffrey, it would be interesting to know where the script starts and finishes in the LotR narrative.

That is correct about the time: 1 page = 1 minute, so thus the script would make a film 2 hours and 56 minutes long. The studio that commissioned the script, United Artists, was at the time making a lot of 2.5 hour movies (with intermissions). I imagine in post-production that the film would have been cut down to closer to 2.5 hours. Already I see where some cuts would have probably been made in the interests of getting rid of redundancies. More on that later. I've read only the first 50 pages thus far.

The script basically starts (after a couple of pages of intro: a sweeping panoramic shot of Middle-earth, starting with Mordor and ending in Hobbiton, while many voices chant the "Three rings for the elven kings..." verse) in Hobbiton as Bilbo beings his birthday/farewell speech.

The script ends with Legolas and Gimli watching a ship going over the Sea. (I'm assuming it's the ship with Frodo, Gandalf, etc.)

[crusssdaddy]

UA hired Boorman to do this in 1970? That's before Deliverance, which is where I assume Boorman made it big in Hollywood. Does the script reference any of the UA execs on the cover page?

[geoffrey]

Nov 5, 2011 21:57:44 GMT -6 crusssdaddy said:

UA hired Boorman to do this in 1970? That's before Deliverance, which is where I assume Boorman made it big in Hollywood. Does the script reference any of the UA execs on the cover page?

Tolkien sold the film rights to United Artists in 1969, and in 1970 UA hired Boorman to write a LotR script. He spent 6 months doing so. Unfortunately, when he had a finished script, the people at UA who wanted a LotR script were no longer working there. Thus the script never was filmed.

I'm afraid that the script does not reference any UA executives anywhere. The only names are John Boorman's and his co-writer, Rospo Pallenberg.

[blackbarn]

I'm looking forward to hearing your thoughts on this, geoffrey! I've always been fascinated by this "what might have been" movie, especially considering how unusual it is, versus the original book.

[kent]

Good stuff Geoff! I read about the Boorman interpretation about a month ago but can't remember where.

I was particularly taken with the egregiously wayward ideas some of which were ingenious and I hope you can flag these for us as you go.

[geoffrey]

The script is a fast read. I read it in only two days, and I am not a particularly fast reader. I especially recommend the script to people who like The Hobbit but dislike The Lord of the Rings as too slow, too long, and/or too boring. You can imagine how much was cut from Tolkien's 1,100-page epic to make a screenplay for a film less than 3 hours in length. Characters, events, and entire locations are slashed out and replaced with nothing. Long speeches and councils are either eradicated or cut down to the bone. Etc.

As literature, of course the script cannot hold a candle to the original book. But as inspiration for D&D, I find the script preferable. It takes the huge scale and solemnity of the book and translates it into something closer to sword & sorcery. The single most vivid example is that Tolkien's white-gowned Virgin Mary-like Galadriel has been transformed into a wet and nearly-naked sex-oracle who exists in the script for the sole purpose of having sex. All the Fellowship (with the exception of the deceased Gandalf, of course) vie for her charms, and Frodo is the one who gets to spend a night of bliss with her. But I'm getting ahead of myself...

Starting tomorrow, I plan on going through the script in chunks of 15ish pages at a time, each day posting a summary of what goes on in those 15ish pages, and my thoughts thereon. Don't hold me to that, though. Sometimes I might go faster than that, sometimes slower. "Man plans, God laughs."

[geoffrey]

The Lord of the Rings:
John Boorman's LSD Hippy Version

From the beginning of the screenplay to about the 15-minute mark:

We first see J. R. R. Tolkien in his study, then we find ourselves right by the active volcano of Mount Doom! The camera starts panning away, showing the rocky terrain of Mordor. Back, back, and then we see what can only be called the Great Wall of Mordor. For the most part the Great Wall is natural, but where necessary artificial walls and towers have completed it.

Then we hear a chorus of voices (children and old men) chanting the old familiar "Three Rings for the Elven Kings under the sky..." Etc.

Then we see, right beside Mount Doom, the Tower of Sauron, complete with Eye.

We swoop away from Mordor over the Pelennor Fields to the city of Minas Tirith. Swoosh! Then we're swept over the Misty Mountains, into Forest Fangorn, then to the Great River, catching a glimpse of Theoden's castle. We zip by other castles with convoluted shapes to the crystalline palace of Rivendell. Then...

We're at the Shire. It's Bilbo's 111th birthday party! He's giving his farewell speech, and he obviously doesn't want to leave the Shire. Gandalf has to pressure him to go. There is no "magic Ring" moment.

Gandalf takes Bilbo to the latter's cottage (that's right: cottage), and Gandalf tells Bilbo to go to Rivendell. After a verbal struggle, Bilbo drops the Ring into Gandalf's hat and goes down the road towards Rivendell.

Later that same night Frodo comes to the cottage he inherited from Bilbo. Gandalf is still there. Gandalf tells Frodo to take the Ring, and he bids Frodo try it on. Frodo is psychologically unable to do so. Frodo, in a trance, mutters, "One...to rule...them...In the Land of Mordor...where the Shadows lie." This shocks Gandalf.

Frodo then tries to give Gandalf the Ring, but Gandalf sternly forbids Frodo to tempt him with the Ring.

BANG! The door swings open. In come Sam, Pippin, and the fat Merry. They saw "a dark shape...a black horse...a face without...eyes". Gandalf jumps up and tells Frodo to celebrate his inheritance by taking his three friends on a holiday to Rivendell.

As the sun rises, the four Hobbits leave for Rivendell as Gandalf tells Frodo, "And remember, don't put it on - unless you have to."

On this spring day the Hobbits merrily walk through an apple orchard full of swirling apple blossoms. Then they come to a field of mushrooms, which they pick and eat as fast as they can. They start giggling and laughing, and their feet become unsteady. They lurch into a field of buttercups, naked children running amidst the flowers. Then the four Hobbits run past a flock of sheep, and then past fifty scarecrows with nasty faces.

Later, when the Hobbits come across some men, one of the latter says, "Halfling? Where? There's a reward if you catch one of them." Frodo mocks them and eludes them by putting on the Ring, accidentally stepping in a cowpie.

Later, the Hobbits see a Rider coming down the road. They hide in the hedge. The Rider stops, does his sniffing thing, then rides off. The Hobbits continue their journey, but now they avoid the road.

And here we come to the end of the movie's first 15 minutes.

As can be seen, this screenplay wastes little time. The four Hobbits all leave within hours of Bilbo leaving, going to the same place. One wonders why the four Hobbits don't catch-up with the 111-year-old Bilbo.

The "high on mushrooms" thing is very 1970 (when this script was written).

Also interesting is Gandalf telling Frodo it's OK to use the Ring if he needs to. Plus the lack of any doubt on Gandalf's part about the Ring. No throwing it in the fireplace, or writing on the Ring, or etc. No history lesson. Just: Take your Ring and go to Rivendell!

[ralph]

I made enquiries about getting a copy of this script only to be told that he'd made a mistake.

Apparently due to copyright he's only supposed to copy at most 25% of the script. I didn't even get the option to purchase that much though.

The way is closed...

[blackbarn]

Well, now the pressure's on geoffrey. We really need to hear all the details! Looks like you have a rather unique artifact there now.

Interesting it starts with Tolkien in his study... as if he would have approved of this unusual version of his tale!

[geoffrey]

The Lord of the Rings:
John Boorman's LSD Hippy Version

From the 15-minute mark of the screenplay to the 29-minute mark:
The four Hobbits are sitting around a campfire after having eaten. The passage of time and distance is strangely uncertain in the entire script, as exampled by some statements in this scene:

SAM: We've come so far so fast, I think our Hobbit-sense got left behind. We squeezed a Shire month into a day.

...

MERRY: Where is Rivendell, then? Tell me that, one of you.

PIPPIN: Some say it's here, some say it's there.

MERRY: Does it move around, then? Why doesn't it stay in one place? Elfs are very Elfish. [Geoffrey's comment: Yep. Elfs instead of Elves, and Elfish instead of Elvish.]

The Black Riders are more than monsters that will kill you. They unsettle your heart:

FRODO: Those Black Riders - it's funny - when they've gone, it feels like they were never here, and when they're here it feels like they'll never leave..."

...

SAM: Master, if you think about them too much they'll never leave you.

Soon thereafter here one comes...a Black Rider! Off the Hobbits go at a run into the thick forest. The Hobbits notice that the branches of the trees seem to fight against the Black Rider, impeding its progress, allowing the Hobbits to get away.

But then a bad tree trips Pippin and then Merry. Sam laughs, but then the tree gives him a smack, which makes Sam angry enough to try to attack it with his axe. The tree knocks the axe out of his hands, so the Hobbits try a different tack:

They apologize to the tree, and the Hobbits chant to it:

Eat Earth,
Dig deep,
Drink water,
Go to sleep.

Now the tree likes the Hobbits, and allows them to sleep the night in safety up in its branches.

The next day is misty, and before long here it comes again...a Black Rider! Run and hide!

They hear a horse gallop up. Thinking it's the Black Rider, Sam leaps out and challenges it to combat with his kitchen knife. But it's not a Black Rider, it's a man.

"Which of you is Frodo?" he asks. Then: "Do you bear it?" Finally self-identification: "I am a Ranger." Then they hear that insidious snuffling from all sides. Run!

The four Hobbits and the Ranger run, but are too slow. They stand and fight. The Ranger fights with the broken halves of a sword. Frodo puts on his Ring. The nine Riders see him better now. They come after him, and Frodo pulls off the Ring, but suddenly he's stabbed in the shoulder by one of their lances.

The Ranger runs to help the barely conscious Frodo, and the Riders disappear into the fog. All five of them (weird, I know) somehow manage to sit on the Ranger's horse and gallop away to the river.

Uh, oh! Here are the Black Riders galloping after them. But look! There's the river, with Rivendell's palace of crystal right across it!

"T.h.e ... R.i.n.g! T-H-E R - I - N - G!" cry the Riders. But as the Riders enter the river, a wave of water comes down, with actual elven warriors on ponies galloping down the center of the river. The laughing elfs joust the Riders into the water and give a cry of victory. The Riders dissolve into slimy rivulets of dark liquid which all join-up and flow downstream.

That's a good place to stop for today.

Notice anything missing? ;D Not only is there no Tom Bombadil, there is no Bree. Whoosh! All gone with the wind. The Hobbits in the woods simply run into Aragorn--oops, at this point he's known only as "the Ranger" and then BAM! here we are at Rivendell.

Middle-earth seems small in this screenplay. Obviously in paring LotR down to a single 2.5 or 3-hour film, Boorman chose to obscure time and distance so the viewers wouldn't necessarily think that Rivendell was 2 days away from the Shire.

In a way, this re-telling is rather like the pace of The Hobbit. In that book Bilbo gets to Rivendell after travelling for one chapter. Frodo takes ten chapters in The Fellowship of the Ring book.

[kent]

It is already quite fascinating, much more interesting than a literal non-interpretation (Jackson).

Please geoffrey stop harping on and on about the length. We get that you like things kept very simple. You are sounding like a toothpaste salesman. Concentrate on the fresh ideas.

[geoffrey]

The Lord of the Rings:
John Boorman's LSD Hippy Version

From the 30-minute mark of the screenplay to the 43-minute mark:

The naked Frodo lies covered with leaves on a solid crystal table in the Great Hall in Rivendell. Elrond ("King of the Elves"), Gandalf, the Ranger, Boromir, the four Hobbits, Gimli, and a bunch of elves are present. Frodo suffers from the "wraith essence" in the wound. Elrond says if they don't get it out, Frodo will serve Sauron. Elrond also predicts that from the "fowl" essence of the Riders, a new form shall rise again.

The elves start chanting in an attempt to heal Frodo. Then enters Elrond's daughter, the 13-year-old Arwen, "our little lady Arwen" to try to heal Frodo. Elrond tells Gimli to stand with his axe ready to cut-off Frodo's infected arm if Arwen should swoon or cry out.

Arwen plunges a thin knife into Frodo's wound. Tension mounts. It seems Gimli is going to have to cut-off Frodo's arm. Then Boromir pipes up: "Enough! How long shall we fuss over a ring and a sick Hobbit?...Lord Elrond, did you summon me to sing hymns over a Halfling?"

Gandalf tells Boromir to shut up, because Arwen is literally risking her life in this operation. Boromir wants to take the Ring, and Gandalf challenges him to do so. Boromir tries to grasp the Ring, but an unseen force holds him back.

Then Arwen succeeds, pulling a dark splinter from Frodo's wound. Pippin cries out, "Frodo will live!"

And right then and there they start having their council, Frodo presumably still naked.

The elves start chanting the history of the Rings. Then a Kabuki Theatre-like play begins. A group of actors in costumes and masks enter and play-act this history. The elves are represented by a juggler with three glass rings. The dwarves are represented by a midget juggler with seven rings, harassed by a dragon. Mankind is represented by a beautiful woman juggler "swaying like a belly dancer, with nine rings rotating on her arms and legs."

A wretched cur (symbolizing Fate and the will of the Ring) joins the show, and Sauron is represented by a white-garbed (with darker colors underneath) guy representing Sauron: a combination of Mick Jagger and Punch(!) The Sauron-figure has a transparent ball with a golden band wrapped around it--the Ring.

Sauron bounces the ball around, and the dog chases it, gets it, plays with it, etc. All the while the elven chorus chants.

The elven juggler makes the three rings disappear, and "applause breaks out in the audience". Sauron takes three rings from the dwarf, and says that the dragons consumed the other four. Then "Sauron struts up to the woman juggling the nine rings, and starts to dance lasciviously in front of her...She becomes entranced by him. The rings fall to the floor, and Sauron picks them up."

Then they play-act the war between Sauron on the one hand and Elendil and Gilgalad on the other. Elendil's sword snaps in half. The dog takes the ring and falls asleep under a blue cloth representing a river.

Two creatures fight over the dog's ball. One kills the other and makes off with the ball, muttering "gollum, gollum". Sauron, in dark clothes ("In this new body of fate, I have stepped well beyond hate.") comes back swinging a bull-roarer.

Then figures representing Gandalf and Saruman come in. Saruman can't help imitating Sauron's dancing-prancing strut. Then Saruman starts behaving "like a femme fatale. Saruman grabs Gandalf and the two roll around the table." The Gandalf figure rejects Saruman's seductions.

A figure representing Bilbo gets hold of the Ring and starts skipping away, oblivious to Sauron and Gollum after him.

End of the Kabuki Theatre.

The Ranger reveals that he holds the Sword-That-Was-Broken. Boromir is horrified, but Elrond vouches for him: "He descends from Elendil" and says his name is Aragorn. Then Elrond explains that the Ring cannot be kept, hidden, or wielded, but must be destroyed in Mount Doom. Frodo says he will do it.

ZIP! Suddenly we see the Nine Companions walking through the wilderness. Elrond's voice-over tells the viewers who each of them is. Legolas doesn't walk on the ground when in a forest: He walks across the tree-tops. He wears feathers and leaves.

That is a good place to stop.

That bizarre Kabuki Theatre lasts about 6 minutes. The council lasts about 2 or 3 minutes. Again (sorry, Kent), this mirrors how swiftly Thorin & Company left Rivendell in The Hobbit, whereas in the LotR book the Company hangs out in Rivendell for two entire months after their all-day council.

It's interesting how Boromir literally can't take the Ring, and the sexual imagery in the Kabuki Theatre is pretty surprising, but fun. The cur is my favorite part, here. Imagine that mangy thing running around yapping as Gandalf, elf lords, etc. sit and watch. ;D

The 1970s "Frodo will live!" is cute. Also of note is that there are only two wizards: Saruman the White and Gandalf the Grey. No Radagast the Brown. No "Blue Wizards".

[geoffrey]

The Lord of the Rings:
John Boorman's LSD Hippy Version

From the 44-minute mark of the screenplay to the 1-hour mark:

Elrond's voice-over continues, intercut with dialogue from the Company. Elrond notes that "Arwen shall be a light in their hearts, to guide their way." Frodo has a vision of her in a white gossamer dress, indicating which way to go at a fork in the road.

Legolas and Gimli needle each other about which is better: tree or rock.

Frodo remembers back in Rivendell Bilbo telling him about his book, and giving him Sting, noting that "The Dwarves gave it to me." [Erm?] He also remembers an uncomfortable moment in which Bilbo asked to see the Ring.

A great flock of birds approaches, zigzagging as though searching for something. The Fellowship hides. While hiding under their new elven cloaks, the Hobbits remember back in Rivendell that Arwen and other elf-maids gave them to them. They also gave them Waybread/Lembas, which tastes "like any food you think of while you're eating it."

There's a funny little part on page 49 in which Merry and Pippin are sneaking bites of the Lembas:

MERRY: Leek soup.

PIPPIN: Honey cake.

MERRY: Bread and butter pudding.

PIPPIN: Buddle and squeak.

MERRY: Goat cheese.

PIPPIN: Cherry pie.

Then Gandalf comes up and makes them choke by saying, "Cod liver oil."

One night Boromir asks Aragorn for the Sword-That-Was-Broken. Aragorn refuses, saying he cannot give it to any but the rightful King. So Boromir snatches one half of the sword and challenges Aragorn to fight. But then Arwen appears to them. They stop fighting and bow their swords to her. She declares that each shall bear one half of the sword.

Arwen then kisses each half of the sword, bloodying her lips. She kisses first Aragorn and then Boromir on the lips, leaving her blood thereon: "I bind you in brotherhood with my blood." Then the two men kiss the thighs of her dress, and then the two men kiss each other on the mouth. Arwen vanishes.

The Fellowship comes in sight of the Misty Mountains, including Redhorn, Caradhars, and Cloudyhead. Gimli mentions the Dwarf Kingdom under the Misty Mountains from which the dwarves were driven.

The heavy snow oppresses the Fellowship as they try to cross the mountains. Gandalf starts a fire with powder from a flask. Then Wargs attack! They "are furry-white mutants of men and animals". The Fellowship is hopelessly out-numbered.

Gandalf snatches the Hobbits' elf-cloaks and throws them on the fire, making the fire enormous with smoke seemingly made of flowers and leaves. This stalls the Wargs. Then Gandalf takes a little flask from his cloak and has everyone take turns taking a swig, which immediately makes you tipsy and giggly.

The big fire is causing the ice near it to melt. Gandalf takes each member of the Fellowship, puts him in the liquid water, and rotates his fingers over his eyeballs. All the while Aragorn keeps the Wargs at bay. Then Gandalf pours fistfulls of salts and powders on the fire, which makes the fire blaze forth and makes the wargs retreat. This allows Aragorn and finally Gandalf to take swigs and get their eyeballs rotated.

The Fellowship is helplessly giggling as they fall unconscious. The water flows over their faces, then freezes. The wargs can't get at them through the ice, so they give it up as a bad job. The next day chunks of ice (containing the Fellowship) break-off and fall into a swift stream. The ice gradually melts, freeing the Company.

They have been carried to an idyllic setting: balmy, trees, flowers, grass. "A combination of Spring and Autumn, with Spring flowers blooming and trees turning." A line of Frodo's continues the film's overall lack of definite time: "It hasn't been a month since we left Rivendell, or has it? ... or two months ... or three, or a thousand and three ... or has time stood still?"

Gandalf says they now have to go through Moria, which pleases Gimli. They all ascend stone steps to a blank wall of rock. Gandalf runs his staff across the surface, revealing the emblems of Moria. The "hieroglyphics" on the door are translated by Gandalf as "Sing friend, and enter."

Frodo figures out the riddle (to sing the dwarfish word for friend). Neither Gandalf nor Gimili can speak the ancient dwarven tongue. Gandalf tries speaking some guttural words, but they don't work. Boromir starts making fun of Gandalf, which makes the Hobbits laugh. So Gandalf invites Boromir to try, who then hurls himself against the rock door, falling back rubbing his shoulder. The Hobbits then laugh at Boromir.

Then Gandalf knows what he can do...

"Only Gimili has the memory to open the door...You greedy Dwarves...Greedy Dwarves! Just dig, dig, dig, for precious metals...Dig! You greedy Dwarf!"

So Gimli, entranced, beings cutting into the ground with his axe. It's not fast enough for Gandalf, so he smacks him with his staff, making him dig faster. Then Gandalf throws his cloak over Gimli, and Gandalf gives Gimli a sound thrashing. This causes Gimli to relive dwarven ancestral memories. Gimli emerges from his hole, and he sings the dwarven word, opening the door.

Gimli is not the worse for the wear, but Gandalf is, as he says to Aragorn: "Too soon on this journey I have called up the very roots of my powers. I fear that when greater challenges come, I may be used up."

That's a good place to stop.

The screenplay makes me consider the book and think to myself: 'The mission of the Company had great need of secrecy and, obviously, food. The Company didn't leave Rivendell for TWO MONTHS after the council. Didn't the wise, 6,500-year-old Elrond in those two months ever think to himself, "You know, maybe it would be a good idea to give the members of the Fellowship elven cloaks to help them remain unseen. And maybe some food?" Elrond doesn't seem very bright. And surely we can't suppose that Rivendell (one of the three major Elf realms--along with Lothlorien and the Grey Havens--at the end of the Third Age) didn't have any elven cloaks or lembas.'

Gandalf strikes me as more of an alchemist than anything else while on the mountains.

The transformation of the book Arwen (the nearly 3,000-year-old betrothed of Aragorn) to a 13-year-old girl in a gossamer dress getting kisses on her lips and thighs from two grown men (who then kiss each other) is remarkable. If you had any doubts that this was written in 1970... All the women in the story have been sexualized in this screenplay. Wait until we get to Galadriel! Even Eowyn is tarted-up. But I'm getting ahead of myself...

The Fellowship is about to enter Moria, and 1 hour of the film has passed. Don't expect the Watcher in the Water, because you won't get it. They're going to go right in.

[talysman]

Nov 12, 2011 23:29:04 GMT -6 geoffrey said:

The transformation of the book Arwen (the nearly 3,000-year-old betrothed of Aragorn) to a 13-year-old girl in a gossamer dress getting kisses on her lips and thighs from two grown men (who then kiss each other) is remarkable. If you had any doubts that this was written in 1970...

He may have been planning to put his daughter Telsche into the movie (she was 13 in 1970.) Or maybe one of his younger daughters, if filming didn't start for a couple years.

[kent]

Nov 10, 2011 20:11:07 GMT -6 geoffrey said:

That bizarre Kabuki Theatre lasts about 6 minutes. The council lasts about 2 or 3 minutes. Again (sorry, Kent), this mirrors how swiftly Thorin & Company left Rivendell in The Hobbit, whereas in the LotR book the Company hangs out in Rivendell for two entire months after their all-day council.

Does it mention 'Kabuki' in the script or do you choose the word yourself? I love the idea of masked actors play-acting history and topical news. The madness in the script appeals to me ... then again I though Zardoz was pants.

In a film version I expect imaginative filmic liberty to be taken with a book, an interpretation should not be the paint-by-numbers job that Jackson did. So for a film I don't mind the heavy cutting and speed so long as all is interesting. after all I have read the book many times. Tom Bombadil should *never* be left out of any interpretation though. Those who don't see the importance of Bombadil don't understand how Tolkien inherited the world of fairy and miss that the Bombadil episode is his acknowledgement.

[aldarron]

Nov 9, 2011 0:49:18 GMT -6 ralph said:

I made enquiries about getting a copy of this script only to be told that he'd made a mistake.

Apparently due to copyright he's only supposed to copy at most 25% of the script. I didn't even get the option to purchase that much though.

The way is closed...

Yes, often happens with book requests. Which is why you only ask for the book in 20% batches. Over the course of a few months, you can legally acquire a photcopy of the whole thing.

[geoffrey]

Nov 13, 2011 16:49:18 GMT -6 kent said:

Does it mention 'Kabuki' in the script or do you choose the word yourself?

The script explicitly uses the word "Kabuki".

[geoffrey]

The Lord of the Rings:
John Boorman's LSD Hippy Version

From the 1-hour, 1-minute mark of the screenplay to the 1-hour, 21-minute mark:

The Fellowship enters Moria, and they step into an "ecoplex". (This term is not in the script, but it is hand-written in the margin.) They hear the still-fresh voice of Gollum echoing: "Preciouss...preciouss...precious..." Gimli refers to the "Dwarves of Once" (which is left unexplained).

Legolas asks Gimli why in the world the Dwarves would want to live "in these dark holes". Gimli grabs Gandalf's glowing staff and hurls it high into the air, where it illumines the splendor of the vast city of stone through which they wander.

Sting starts glowing. Orcs! The Company is moving "over an undulating surface, which is soft beneath their feet." Percussive beats break the silence. Believe it or not, the Fellowship has been walking on inert orcs, and the Company's footsteps are starting up the orcs' heartbeats. "ORCS are human-like creatures, with reptile and bird-like features. A kind of armour grows spontaneously from their bodies."

The revived orcs start kicking the inert ones in the chest, getting them going as well. The orcs surround the Fellowship. Melee. Gimli "conducts a one-man massacre", calling out warcries in his guttural tongue.

The Fellowship cuts its way through the orcs to "a narrow bridge of rotting rope and wood span[ning] a chasm of some twenty feet across."

"Out of the chasm rises a terrifying sight. A huge creature wreathed in flame, whose soft body changes in shape...Its presence makes a strange humming sound." A Balrog!

Interestingly, the Balrog has a paralyzing effect on the Fellowship. They can scarcely move. When Gandalf confronts the Balrog, its spell weakens and the Fellowship flees to the bridge. Nobody dares help Gandalf. The frightened Boromir says, "It has gutted and filleted me. Oh, Gondor, forgive me."

Gandalf strikes the Balrog with staff and with sword. The Balrog clutches Gandalf and the two fall into the abyss. The Fellowship leaves Moria, after being therein for about 7 minutes of screen-time.

The Fellowship, limping and wounded, cross a dusty land. Then they see a lake fed by a waterfall, surrounded by trees, shrubs, and blossoms. "It is idyllic, dream like, a wild garden of Eden."

The Fellowship takes off most of their clothes and bathes, feeling rejuvenated. Then "a figure surfaces out of the waters...She is a tall and beautiful woman of elven features, sparsely clad, statuesque, aloof...Shimmering pearls of water glide down her body." She waves aside her bowmen that now surround the lake, and the Company now notices a tent by the lake as well. Legolas recognizes her as Galadriel.

The Fellowship all start hitting on this woman. Legolas tries a come-on line, Gimli ogles her, Boromir displays his muscles, Aragorn tries to look dignified, etc.

Then Aragorn mentions to Galadriel that Gandalf has fallen. She replies, "Gandalf - I knew him once, before he took the guise of man."

"Boromir, with a flush of passion, takes her in his arms and kisses her. She remains aloof and unresponsive. His ardour withers and he turns away, with a bitter cry of humiliation."

Galadriel is more interested in Frodo, touching his Ring, which makes the others gasp. She looks into Frodo's eyes, shakes out her mane of hair, and nets Frodo with it: "You shall look into the Mirror; and you alone."

Galadriel takes Frodo into her tent. Inside are carpets and cushions, as well as a small silver basin filled with water. What can I do now but quote the script:

FRODO: I look and I see nothing.

GALADRIEL: You look and you see nothing, for you are not yet ready.

FRODO: When, when shall I be ready? And how?

GALADRIEL: With knowledge. And I am that knowledge.

FRODO: I - I don't know what questions I should ask.

GALDRIEL: Your eyes ask questions...already.

Accepting the invitation, his eyes wander over her body, drinking in its loveliness. GALADRIEL's austere and aloof features soften. GALADRIEL's hand touches the chain from which the Ring dangles. And FRODO's hand takes hers. FRODO looks again into the reflection in the basin and sees their two faces come together and kiss.

Then we cut away to the rest of the Fellowship, stuck outside the tent in a huge hammock-like thing. Humorously, Merry takes a bite of lembas (which, if you remember, tastes like whatever you are thinking about at the time), rolls it around in his mouth, savors the taste ecstatically, and says, "Galadriel."

The Fellowship talks of two things: desire for Galadriel, and Boromir saying he'll go south to Minas Tirith, while Aragorn saying he'll go north to Mordor.

The next morning Frodo and Galadriel float together in the lake. Frodo can now see that she wears one of the Elven Rings. Frodo hands the One Ring to Galadriel, desiring to give it to her. She handles it, and is about to put it on, but an ugly grimace comes over her face, along with fear and trembling. Frodo pulls back the Ring, saying, "I cannot give it, and you cannot bear it."

"GALADRIEL seems to diminish, and FRODO to grow in stature. He is ascendant now, greater than she."

Galadriel tells him that if he destroys the One Ring, "our powers will fade, too, and the Elves will dwindle to a rustic folk of dell and cave..."

Frodo responds, "What I felt in you is the stuff of which all life is made."

Galadriel then says, "After we have gone, our powers may find a small place in the hearts of women. In other women you will remember me - in them, men will sometimes find a fleeting vision of what we were."

When Frodo returns to the Fellowship, they look at him angrily.

They leave on a raft down the river. Frodo and Sam later discuss seeing Gollum in the river, following them. At one point, Aragorn is about to strike at the elusive Gollum, but Frodo stays his hand.

As the Fellowship nears the rapids, Orcs start shooting arrows at them. Merry, Boromir, Sam, and Gimli all receive minor wounds. The swiftening water takes them out of range of the Orcs.

The rapids are nasty. They get beat-up and bloodied going through, ending in a shallow pool. Cue music. INTERMISSION.

Obviously, this is a good place to stop.

The scenes with Galadriel (which last a total of about 9 minutes) are clearly different than the book and clearly interesting. The Virgin Mary-like figure has been replaced by an Aphrodite-like figure. The Fellowship already received elven goodies from Elrond, so there was no need to get them from Galadriel. She didn't give any gifts--except to Frodo, of course.

From Galadriel Frodo received "knowledge" in the Biblical sense ("Abraham knew his wife, and she conceived..."). Also of interest is the treatment of sex in a post-elf world: in women, men will sometimes have a fleeting vision of the loveliness of the elves.

No Lothlorien. No Celeborn. Even the offering of the Ring to Galadriel is inverted: Instead of Galadriel refusing the Ring, Frodo takes it back from her. The sex-oracle Galadriel of the script has poured strength into Frodo. He has the strength to bear the Ring. She doesn't.

[crusssdaddy]

I'm ready to Kickstarter this and have Boorman film it.

[talysman]

Ha! Although I wish the movie could have been made, in a way it's better as a legendary film-that-never-was, like Jodorowsky's Dune.

[geoffrey]

The Lord of the Rings:
John Boorman's LSD Hippy Version

From the 1-hour, 22-minute mark of the screenplay to the 1-hour, 41-minute mark:

We come back from the welcome intermission, after making a pilgrimage to the men's room.

The second half of the movie starts with the Fellowship trudging up to a crossroads. Aragron says it is time to choose: A) Everybody south to Minas Tirith, B) everybody north to Mordor, or C) break the Fellowship? Frodo gets to choose!

Frodo asks for an hour and wanders off. Uh, oh. Here comes Boromir. He tries to take the Ring and Frodo flees, invisible. Under the influence of the Ring, Frodo sees visions of various parts of Middle-earth, ending with the Eye of Mordor. Frodo jerks the Ring off his finger. Frodo decides to go to Mordor alone.

Boromir comes back to the Company, sadness choking his words into incoherence. Boromir points in the direction that he last saw Frodo, and Aragorn, Legoas, Gimli, and Sam rush that way. Merry and Pippin stay to comfort Boromir.

Sam sees Frodo and runs to catch up with him.

Uh, oh! Orcs coming at Boromir, Merry, Pippin. Boromir welcomes the battle. He slays many orcs with his half of the Sword-That-Was-Broken, but the orcs shoot him with many arrows and carry off the two Hobbits. Boromir sounds his horn.

Boromir, Legolas, and Gimli answer the call, scattering the orcs. Boromir says to Aragorn, "Aragorn, my blood brother. Take the Sword-that-was-broken. Go to Minas Tirith in my place."

Then we cut to a scene in which Boromir lies buried under a mound of stone. Legolas and Gimli tell Aragorn that the two of them will go after the orcs who have taken Merry and Pippin. Aragorn says he will go, too, in spite of his pledge to Boromir to go to Minas Tirith. This profoundly disturbs Legolas and Gimli, who think Aragorn is mad:

LEGOLAS: Would you set two Halflings above the plight of a great city?

ARAGORN: I cannot, and yet I will.

We then cut to a short scene of Frodo and Sam at the edge of a huge marshland. Beyond it is the Great Wall of Mordor.

Then we're back with Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli, tracking the orcs. They see a beautiful white horse running across the plain.

And we're back with Frodo and Sam again. Sam reckons that they have 3 days' worth of lembas left. I told you this script really speeds things up! They capture Gollum and make him swear on the Ring to lead them through the marshes to Mordor.

Back with Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli: They see in the distance an army of horsemen slaughtering the orcs. They rush forward and arrive only after the battle is over. The leader of the horsemen is Eomer, son of Theoden. (That's right: son of Theoden.) Eomer tells them they saw no Halflings. Legolas and Gimli find the Hobbits' tracks leading into the forest. Legolas says, "These halflings! They manage better without us, it seems."

So the three decide that Merry and Pippin no longer need them. Suddenly a mounted figure gallops across the horizon. "Nazgul" say the Riders. Eomer gives Aragorn, Gimli, and Legolas three horses, and the three of them ride off towards Minas Tirith, while Eomer and his men ride to tell Theoden of the Nazgul.

We'll stop there.

Aragorn, Gimli, and Legolas indeed never go to Rohan in this screenplay.

Boorman cuts the story down to the bone. After all, he's only to the end of the first of the "Trilogy", and he's already halfway through his movie! He needs to fit the Two Towers and Return of the King into an hour and a half. Theodred: Gone! And you haven't seen anything yet. The changes to the story are much more extensive from here on than they were in the first half of the movie.

[blackbarn]

Very interesting, geoffrey. Thanks for writing this up in such detail... it gives quite a good picture of what the movie might have been like. As odd as it is in places, I can't say I dislike it at all. Knowing that Boorman went on to Excalibur when this fell through, I can really imagine the way this might have looked given the era and the director, and I think it would have been amazing.

[geoffrey]

The Lord of the Rings:
John Boorman's LSD Hippy Version

From the 1-hour, 42-minute mark of the screenplay to the 1-hour, 58-minute mark:

Frodo, Sam, and Gollum are in the marshes. Wisps of light dance over the bogs. They see dead faces of Elves, Men, and Orcs in the water. Gollum explains that they died in a battle "when I was young, before Precious came our way." Frodo replies, "I have heard the old tales. Elves and Men overcame the armies of Sauron." Thus either Gollum is over 3,000 years old, or Boorman has ignored Tolkien's chronology. (I suspect the latter.)

Gollum tells the Hobbits he was once of Hobbit kind, which makes Frodo and Sam burst out laughing.

We cut to Merry and Pippin stumbling through a forest at night. They bump into a tall figure glowing white. They think it is Saruman. The figure tells them, "I am Saruman...but as Saruman should have been..."

Back to Frodo and Sam: They are asleep and sinking into quicksand. Gollum debates whether he should save them or steal the Ring.

Back to Pippin and Merry: Pippin takes the figure's sword and hands it to Merry. Merry gets piggyback on Pippin and charges the figure: "For the Shire!" But they fall backwards, and the figure laughs, revealing himself as Gandalf.

Back to Frodo and Sam: Gollum decides to rescue them, but himself sinks in the mire. Frodo yells, "Gollum! You swore on the Precious, to take us to Mordor," to which Gollum replies right before he's engulfed, "We did - gollum." And sure enough--the Great Wall of Mordor is only a few feet away.

Back to Merry and Pippin: Gandalf makes a hawk descend to him, and Gandalf is able to see everything that the hawk has seen of Middle-earth. He sees Aragorn with Gimli and Legolas, and he wonders if Aragorn bears the Ring! And Gandalf notes that he (Gandalf) has "become more like the Dark Lord...Your Gandalf is dangerous...more dangerous than anything you will ever meet, unless you are brought, alive, before Sauron Himself."

Gandalf then sees that Frodo and Sam are alive. Then he says, "From the Wraith-essence of the Nine, a Nazgul has risen." That's right. The Nine have combined into a SINGLE Nazgul. Not Nine. There's only one.

Finally, Gandalf summons Shadowfax, and the three ride towards Theoden's hall.

Frodo and Sam find a withered oak tree growing out of the base of the Wall. They climb into its branches and sleep.

We cut back to Gandalf, Merry, and Pippin. They ride Shadowfax right up to the door of King Theoden's throne room. Shadowfax kicks the door in, and in they go. While the architecture is spartan, delicate drapes hang down. The court sits around, stuffed from eating, listening to musicians playing lutes and lyres. A girl in wispy veils performs a graceful dance.

On one side of Theoden is his counselor, a hunchback. On his other side is his daughter (yes, daughter), Eowyn.

Everyone but Theoden leaps up as Gandalf enters and says, "Danger...will soon engulf your pretty vanities. I come to rouse you from your feather cusions..."

Theoden mocks him, asking, "Aid? Do you bring men? Horses? Are these [the Hobbits] your warriors?"

The hunchback tries to interrupt Gandalf, but Gandalf calls him Wormtongue and basically tells him to shut-up, accusing him of being a servant of Mordor. The wizard then tells the Hobbits to attack Theoden's soldiers. Before they can do so, however, Gandalf starts tearing down the drapes, letting daylight burst in on himself.

Gandalf now speaks for 36 lines. He tells of his mighty fight with the balrog (with details similar to that in the book), his death, and the fact that dreams of good-natured Hobbits drew him back to Middle-earth. He ends by encouraging Theoden to risk all "for one last battle against the Evil that would overwhelm us."

The young courtiers break out into cheers. Theoden replies, "All wars seem urgent to the young. I do not see this one is as special as you claim. But I should ride again."

Wormtongue tries to stab Theoden with a dagger, but is tripped by the Hobbits. Theoden draws his sword and becomes a young and mighty king again and shouts, "To Minas Tirith!" Cheers. He throws his sword in the air...

...and we cut to the mounted Theoden, riding at the head of the Rohirrim, catching his sword. Gandalf and the two Hobbits on Shadowfax ride at Theoden's side. The company halts. Theoden sends his captains forth to gather more men, and to find Eomer. Gandalf rides off, too. They all agree to meet at Minas Tirith.

That's a good place to pause.

And with that, we basically have 1 hour left in the movie.

I am grateful that Boorman disposes of Gollum thus. I find him most tiresome. There's very little of Gollum in this script.

Also interesting is the Nine Riders turning into one Nazgul. Further, this Nazgul rides a horse. Nothing flies in the script (unless you count the hawk that Gandalf calls to him).

Once again, Boorman sexs things up a bit with a dancing girl in wispy veils in Theoden's hall.

It is strange that Merry and Pippin thought that Gandalf was Saruman. Why would they think that? There is no Isengard in the script, or Helm's Deep. What we saw of Rohan in the scene with Gandalf confronting Theoden is basically all we ever see of it. When we finally encounter Saruman, it is before the Great Wall of Mordor!

[geoffrey]

The Lord of the Rings:
John Boorman's LSD Hippy Version

From the 1-hour, 59-minute mark of the screenplay to the 2-hour, 12-minute mark:

Once again a tree does something unnatural. Remember the tree we left Frodo and Sam slumbering in? Its roots tear a breach in the Great Wall of Mordor. This attracts the attention of some orcs, uruks, and trolls. Frodo and Sam, hiding behind fallen branches from the tree, creep away into Mordor while the orcs repair the Wall. The Hobbits see a vast army of orcs marching to war.

Then we have a bunch of quick scenes, each lasting perhaps 5-10 seconds:

Gandalf and Pippin ride upon the galloping Shadowfax.

An orc army crosses Mordor.

Aragorn, followed by Rangers, rides through an ancient battlefield. He calls out in a wordless cry. Dead men and elves stagger out of their graves to their feet, becoming an army of the dead.

Legolas runs from branch to branch of a forest, calling out. Other tree elves answer his call.

Gimli gallops to an open pit, calling out in the dwarven tongue. Dwarves come out of their burrowings, bearing axes, cheer, and climb up.

The hosts of Mordor pass through the Great Gates of Mordor onto the Pelennor Fields. On the horizon is Minas Tirith.

Two companies of Riders converge. One is Theoden's, and the other belongs to Eomer. Father and son meet and embrace.

That's the end of the quick, 5-10 second scenes.

Back in Mordor, Frodo and Sam start running from orcs who have seen them. They come up to a tower surrounded by a canal filled with a brown liquid. They jump in, and the rushing liquid carries them inside the tower. Inside is a terrible whirlpool. The Hobbits seem doomed, but a thin silvery wire hangs down. They climb up onto solid ground. They're saved!

Uh, oh. No. The "wire" was spider-web from Shelob! The Hobbits fight it, and Frodo cries out, "I shall slay it, Sam. I am the Lord of the Ring! For you, Galadriel!", only to get stung in the neck. Shelob tries to crush Sam with her bulk, but in doing so stabs herself deeply on Sting (now held by Sam). Shelob retreats into a hole.

Sam thinks Frodo is dead, so he takes the Ring to continue the quest. Suddenly orcs come up! Sam hides. One orc slashes its own wrist, letting its blood pour into Frodo's mouth. Frodo chokes and groans. The orcs take Frodo past a heavy iron grill in the roof. Sam sinks down by it in despair.

Pippin and Gandalf on Shadowfax approach Minas Tirith, and Gandalf points out the Nazgul, a distant speck trailing dust, also heading towards the city.

In a chamber above the gates sits Denethor. The guards start treading on a treadmill device that opens the gates. It opens only a few inches when Denethor waves them away. He looks at Gandalf, mere inches away, through the opening. For a long 2 mintutes Denethor stalls at the gate, asking Gandalf about Boromir, and is told of his son's death. Only when Gandalf promises details does Denethor order the gate opened.

But the delay was too long! The Nazgul is here, "mounted on a steed which seems to have no skin. Its live, raw bleeding flesh is exposed." The dust behind it settles, revealing hundreds of mounted orcs who had been hiding within the dust.

Shadowfax bolts inside as the orcs charge. A short fight ensues, but the gates are finally closed.

Denethor stands on the battlements above the gates, oblivious of the trouble below. He demands of Pippin more information about Boromir, to which Pippin offers his services. Denethor accepts Pippin's sword and throws it over the battlements. Gandalf and a captain try to get Denethor to focus on the vast army from Mordor attacking Minas Tirith.

All Denethor can say is, "Go fight and burn: for burn we must. Gandalf, your hope is to rule in my stead," which of course Gandalf denies. Gandalf and the captains then proceed to the battle, leaving Pippin watching as Denethor jerks and winces each time a huge battering ram strikes the walls of Minas Tirith.

That is a good place to stop.

What did I tell you about a frenetic pace? Look at how much has happened in a mere 13 minutes. Don't wonder where Faramir is. He doesn't exist. Most of the second half of The Two Towers (i. e., Book IV of The Lord of the Rings) is utterly ignored, as is the slow build-up of the beginning of The Return of the King. Instead we lose no time in getting to the actual siege of Minas Tirith.

Truth to tell, I have long found Book IV to be one of my less favorite parts of the story, so its radical abridgement suits me. My favorite parts tend to be Book II (the second half of The Fellowship of the Ring), Book III (the first half of The Two Towers), and Book V (the first half of The Return of the King).

[jasons]

Astonishing! Thanks for this highly entertaining thread. Have another exalt for your collection. I wonder how Boorman thought he could pull off the FX for things like the balrog, Shelob and the Nazgul's skinless, bleeding steed...If I was in charge I would've retained the services of Ray Harryhausen first thing, but that's just me.

[Deleted]

A Harryhausen LotR? I would definitely pay the price of admission to see that! What a great idea.

[geoffrey]

I think the idea was to have a horse wear a body suit printed with a horse's musculature. Slather on some Hollywood goop, and there you go.

I hadn't thought about Ray Harryhausen doing stop motion for Boorman's LotR film. That would have been awesome. Starring Raquel Welch as Galadriel, of course. Imagine such a movie released in 1972.

On top of that, imagine an 8ish-issue Marvel Comics adaptation of the film, drawn by Mike Ploog and published in 1972. Now THAT would feel very D&Dish. You'd be half-expecting Conan and/or Elric to wander into the story.

[geoffrey]

The Lord of the Rings:
John Boorman's LSD Hippy Version

From the 2-hour, 13-minute mark of the screenplay to the 2-hour, 25-minute mark:

Sam, sitting by the grill, puts on the Ring when orcs open the grill. When Sam has the Ring on, a cacophony of light and sound swirls around him. And the orcs collapse in agony simply being near Sam. He ascends up, up, and up the tower. Any orcs in his path collapse in pain. Then Sam hears a great Voice: "One Ring to rule them all..." Sam then takes the Ring off and falls unconscious.

Back in Minas Tirth, Pippin is now wearing a jester's outfit with old blood-stains and arrow holes. He and Denethor stroll along the tops of the walls, watching the desperate siege. Orcs have breached the outer walls and have set fire to the buildings and land between the two walls, and the orcs now besiege the inner wall. Denethor asks Pippin how Boromir fared with Lady Galadriel, and he breaks into mad and despairing laughter when he's told that she picked a Halfling instead.

Gandalf on Shadowfax is battling back orcs with torches who take swigs from drinking skins, and then spit the liquid on the torches, making flames shoot forth. When Gandalf gets to Denethor, the latter tells him that it was insane to give the Ring to a Halfling and then send him into Mordor. The Ring should have been given to Boromir instead. Then a cock crows...

And a distant horn of the Riders of Rohan is heard! Led by Theoden and Eomer, they charge into the orcs as Minas Tirith cheers. The people inside, soldiers and civilians, fling open the gates and make a sortie to assist the Riders. The battle rages for a minute or two, and then with "a terrifying vibrato wail" charges forth...

the Nazgul! Theoden spurs his horse towards it. The Nazgul's lance pierces Theoden straight through the chest and out his back. Theoden lands on his feet, pivots, and knocks the Nazgul's horse down with the end of the lance before he (Theoden) falls. The Nazgul draws his sword and walks towards Theoden to finish the job. But here comes a Rider carrying Merry!

"Begone, foul lord of carrion! Leave the dead in peace!"

The Nazgul hits the Rider's sword arm, thus dropping the sword held in that arm. Merry jumps at the Nazgul, and Merry gets wounded in the thigh, but Merry stabs it in the knee. Meanwhile, the Rider catches his falling sword with his left hand, and slays the Nazgul. The Nazgul's horse picks up the Nazgul's empty helmet with its teeth and heads towards Mordor. Both Merry and the Rider fall senseless. Merry comes to and removes the Rider's helmet, revealing Eowyn. "I should have guessed," says Merry. He then begins to undress her, and "her beautiful body is revealed." Merry then faints.

Gandalf, Denethor, and Pippin approach. Denethor is dragging his crown. He then "lies down beside Theoden, and grotesquely goes through the motions of dying although he has suffered no wound."

The battle rages for another minute or so. Amongst the defenders of Minas Tirith are:

1. "the BEE CULTIVATORS, dressed entirely in leather, with wicker masks, and bees swarming around their gloved hands"

2. "BLACKSMITHS with leather aprons and long-handled hammers"

3. "FARMERS with an array of pitchforks and spikes"

4. "WOMEN, some pregnant, some nursing, clad in armour improvised from kitchen ware"

Eomer approaches Theoden, who with his last dying act takes his crown and puts it on his son's head.

Then a monstrous snake 100 yards long approaches Minas Tirith. Everyone is dismayed, while the orcs chortle with joy. Suddenly the snake disintegrates, and out of its head "breaks a great white banner with a tree embossed on it." The snake was actually warriors holding up their painted shields. The good guys cheer.

That's a good place to stop.

I don't have much comment on this part except to say that this would have been a pretty bizarre battle scene on the screen. Bee cultivators and pregnant women wearing kitchen ware fighting the orcs? Wow.

And of course we can't have a woman in this movie with her clothes coming off. Good ol' Merry.