John Boorman's Lord of the Rings screenplay

[geoffrey]

The Lord of the Rings:
John Boorman's LSD Hippy Version

From the 2-hour, 25-minute mark of the screenplay to the 2-hour, 32-minute mark:

An orc finds Sam, who points the Ring at the orc. The orc convulses, lashing out his arms, accidently hitting another orc. This starts a big orc-vs.-orc brawl. Sam uses the distraction to ascend still further up the tower. He sees a figure that looks unmistakably like Gandalf followed by two orcs carrying the helmet of the slain Nazgul. Sam gets a glimpse of the figure's face, showing that it is not Gandalf. Sam sneaks into a room with them.

It's a torture chamber. Frodo lies naked on a slab. An orc puts the Nazgul helmet on Frodo, screwing its rusty clamps onto Frodo's head. The Gandalf-like figure leaves.

Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimili cut a path to Eomer. We see the strange army that accompanies Aragorn: dwarven axemen, tree-elf bowmen (dressed in leaves and feathers), rangers, and the risen dead (dressed in white, blanched faces, silver hair). The dead fearlessly fight the orcs, smiling radiantly.

Aragorn bends his knee to King Eomer. They all charge into battle. They encounter Gandalf, whom Aragorn, Gimli, and Legolas thought was dead. Gandalf and Aragorn embrace.

Pippin comes up and leads Aragorn to Merry. Aragorn embraces and kisses him, saying, "Merry! Merry! Wake up!" Merry stirs, better now.

Denethor says, "The hands of the healer, are the hands of a King." And Gandalf sings, "From the ashes a fire shall be woken, A light from the shadows shall spring."

Aragorn then kneels by Denethor, embracing him and saying, "Lord Denethor, Boromir is my blood brother."

But Denethor has a dagger pointed at his own heart. When Aragorn embraces him, it pushes the dagger into Denethor's heart, killing him.

Aragorn then sees Eowyn's body. He "spreads out her arms, and covers her with his body. He presses his palms on her palms, his legs on her. After a moment, she moans, and her body writhes, trapped under Aragorn's great weight. When he feels her stir, he rises, lifting her with him, enfolding her in his arms, pressing her mouth and body to his."

Aragorn is enraptured by Eowyn's beauty. She starts to swoon again, but Aragorn "kisses her with passion and intensity." They look into each others eyes with love.

Meanwhile, Gandalf has ripped the white banner of Elendil from its mast. He carefully folds it, and then he dips it into Denethor's blood. He unfurls it. "On the white flag is a beautiful mandala in blood, radiating from the centre of the white tree. It is as though the bare tree had burst into blossom."

People start chanting, "Aragorn King! Eowyn Queen!"

And Gandalf completes his song: "Renewed shall be blade that was broken: The crownless again shall be King."

Aragorn had stuck the two halves of the Blade-That-Was-Broken into the ground when he healed Merry. The broken ends are brightly glowing. Aragorn picks-up the halves and holds the broken ends together, and they fuse. Suddenly he remembers Frodo and asks: "Where is Frodo? What of Frodo?"

We cut to the torture chamber. Sam kills the orc in the chamber. He then takes the Nazgul helmet from Frodo's head. When Frodo regains his senses he tells Sam, "I've been on a terrible journey. They've broken something inside me, Sam, that'll never be mended."

That's not a bad place to stop.

In Boorman's version, Eowyn gets her man and enjoys an erotic element in her healing. The mandala of blood is an especially striking image.

Can anyone guess who Sam saw, thinking it was Gandalf?

[ragnorakk]

Man, I really like the way effects of ring wearing in this treatment. Much more tricksy than the film. Also, the fact that the jester's suit is blood-stained and riddled with arrow holes is pobably the "most D&D" thing I've heard in several months!

[jasmith]

Nov 21, 2011 0:28:28 GMT -6 geoffrey said:

The mandala of blood is an especially striking image.

Boorman's sneaking in as much sexual symbolism as he can.

I owe you an Exalt for all this hard work. It's been a trippy ride.

[Mushgnome]

Nov 21, 2011 0:28:28 GMT -6 geoffrey said:

Meanwhile, Gandalf has ripped the white banner of Elendil from its mast. He carefully folds it, and then he dips it into Denethor's blood. He unfurls it. "On the white flag is a beautiful mandala in blood, radiating from the centre of the white tree. It is as though the bare tree had burst into blossom."

Gandalf made a tie-dye!

[geoffrey]

Nov 21, 2011 11:23:43 GMT -6 Mushgnome said:

Nov 21, 2011 0:28:28 GMT -6 geoffrey said:

Meanwhile, Gandalf has ripped the white banner of Elendil from its mast. He carefully folds it, and then he dips it into Denethor's blood. He unfurls it. "On the white flag is a beautiful mandala in blood, radiating from the centre of the white tree. It is as though the bare tree had burst into blossom."

Gandalf made a tie-dye!

Whenever I think of this script, I immediately think of Gandalf holding-up a tie-dye banner in all the colors of the rainbow--regardless of it actually being only red and white. ;D

[Mushgnome]

Gandalf is a Prankster and Saruman is a Narc.

[geoffrey]

The Lord of the Rings:
John Boorman's LSD Hippy Version

From the 2-hour, 33-minute mark of the screenplay to the 2-hour, 47-minute mark:

The good guys have once more retreated inside Minas Tirith as the endless orc hordes march down from Mordor. Aragorn wears the red and silver cloak of the King, as well as the gold crown of Gondor. Gandalf gets the idea that Frodo needs more time, and that a trick is in order. "We shall be the bait."

Back in Mordor, Frodo thinks they've taken the Ring: "They've taken everything, Sam...everything." When Sam reveals the Ring, Frodo angrily takes it, accusing Sam of being a thief, and then apologizes.

The gates of Minas Tirith open and out strides a mighty company:

Aragorn
"Eoywn, her golden hair flowing, silver armour following the contours of her body and breasts."
Gimli
Legolas
Gandalf
Merry
Pippin
warriors of Gondor
tree elves
dwarves
the risen dead
Eomer
the Riders of Rohan

"They bear the white banner of Elendil with the blood-blossomed tree flaming from it...A small brass band brings up the rear." The Riders form a protective circle around the rest as they march towards Gondor through the hordes of orcs.

Frodo and Sam start to descend the tower, but orcs spot them. The two Hobbits both fall from the ramp into the clutches of the orcs.

We cut back to Aragorn and company, now only an arrow's pitch from the gates of Mordor, which are shaped like open jaws. Gandalf shouts towards Mordor: "The King of Gondor has returned! King Aragorn, heir of Elendil, Aragorn-the-Arrogant, demands that Sauron come forth and atone for his evils."

The gates open, and a black chariot comes out, pulled by two hideous black horses with flames coming from eyes and nostrils. On the chariot is a figure in "the spitting image of Gandalf. His cloak is white, but it shimmers with threads of many colours. A cobra is coiled around his staff."

It is Saruman, the Mouth of Sauron!

The cobra seems like it will bite Gandalf, but instead bites Saruman. And the snake dies. The two wizards have a duel of words:

G: Saruman, I am the snake about to strike!
S: I am the staff that crushes the snake!
G: I am the fire that burns the staff to ashes!
S: I am the cloudburst that quenches the fire!
G: I am the well that traps the waters!

A bit later Saruman spits at Aragorn, saying, "I spit on your Ring-Bearer." Then he pulls out an effigy dressed in Frodo's clothes. The good guys are aghast.

Cut to Frodo and Sam: Frodo evades the orcs by putting on the Ring, while Sam plays dead by pretending to be impaled by a stalagmite by lying on a truncated stalagmite. Sam then sneaks away.

Saruman is losing power, and Gandalf whispers to Aragorn, "Dare we hope?"

Frodo gets to Sam's side and takes the Ring off. The orcs see them! Sam takes the Ring and swings it around and around on its long chain. This keeps the orcs at bay, since it causes them pain. Sam then puts on the Ring, which makes the orcs fall into spasms of pain.

Saruman sinks to his knees, as though having a stroke. Legolas and Gimli snatch the effigy and cheers start: "Frodo lives! Frodo lives!"

A burning Eye looks down on Frodo and Sam, who keep exchanging the Ring and putting it on, or swinging it around to keep the orcs at bay. The orcs calm down and stare at the Eye. The two Hobbits try to reach a door to get away from the debilitating light of the Eye.

Saruman arises, his power back. An army of orcs, uruk warriors, and giant-men vomits out of the gates.

Frodo and Sam escape the tower. The orcs rush out of the door, but instead of going after them, the orcs run towards the battle at the great gate.

In the battle, "Aragorn's power is awesome. He holds one flank alone, rotating The-Sword-Reforged around his head cutting swathes through the enemy. Gandalf is on the other flank employing a mixture of conventional swordsmanship with his Elf-sword, and wizard tricks. Stabs of lightning fly off his oscillating staff. At his mysterious behest, some of the giant-men turn their clubs against their orc masters."

Frodo and Sam climb the slopes of Mount Doom. They ditch almost all of their equipment, and they drink the last of their water. Frodo refuses the last of the lembas: "I have no hunger, Sam. Nothing is left of me, no taste of food, no memory of tree or flower, no sound of wind...I think I know how Gollum felt. Poor Gollum" The two Hobbits look down and see the battle before the gates of Mordor, and beyond that Minas Tirith besieged. Frodo fears they are too late.

Uh, oh! Orcs are coming up the mountain. Frodo calls for Gollum, since he can hear his hissing. Frodo can't go farther, and he won't let Sam carry the Ring for him, so Sam carries Frodo.

In the battle, defeat shows in Gandalf's and Aragorn's eyes. Eowyn fights next to Aragorn. Merry says to Pippin, "I think we're losing...I don't think adventures are nearly as good as people make out."

We'll pause there.

By the time we get to the end of this section of the film, we have a mere 9 minutes left before the credits roll.

Eowyn in her skin-tight armor is of course interesting: a sexy warrior instead of a convalescent. Things are so packed together (both in space and in time) that this section of the movie is clotted with action, cutting back-and-forth between Aragorn and co (on the one hand) and Frodo and Sam (on the other). Saruman's roll in the script is also noteworthy.

[geoffrey]

The Lord of the Rings:
John Boorman's LSD Hippy Version

From the 2-hour, 48-minute mark of the screenplay to its end at the 2-hour, 56-minute mark:

Frodo and Sam make their way up Mount Doom, with the orc patrols ascending behind them. Gollum appears and attacks Frodo and Sam, and Frodo says, "I was expecting you, Gollum. I thought you'd be in at the end." Their fighting is slow and almost langorous because of their exhaustion.

Frodo manages to get to the edge of the fire, but says, "I have come. But I do not choose to do what I came to do. The Ring is mine." Then he puts the Ring on.

The forces of Mordor cease fighting against Aragorn and company. They look up at the Mountain.

Gollum bites Frodo's finger off, then stumbles into the lava while crying, "Precious...precious...precious." The Quest is over, and only 6 minutes remain in the film.

Mordor is rent by earthquakes. Sauron's tower crumbles into ruins. The gloom darkening the skies disappears, revealing a beautiful summer afternoon. Everyone on both sides throws down his weapons. The orcs shed their armor, revealing themselves to be rather human (though with white slug-like skin). The risen dead fade from sight.

Frodo and Sam come running down the mountain to the cheers of Aragorn's host: "Hail Frodo! Lord of the Ring. Hail Frodo! Lord of the Nine Fingers." Then: "Hail Aragorn, King of Men and Orcs Repented!" Everyone embraces Frodo. Everyone (including the orcs) cheers and makes music. The crowd chants, "Frodo lives! Frodo lives!"

Gimli walks up to the Gates of Mordor, which look like grimacing jaws of stone. He strikes one corner of the mouth with his axe. "Now the Gates are like the Greek mask of comi-tragedy."

The celebrations continue. People set up stalls and buy and sell. Legless veterans beg by the wayside. Aragorn, with Eowyn by his side, sits on an improvised throne. People clamor for them to hear their petitions and complaints. "Aragorn reads a parchment, using a glass, as he seems a little long-sighted." Pippin and Merry stay with Aragorn and Eowyn.

Shadowfax pulls a plough over the barren earth.

Frodo, Sam, Gandalf, Gimli, and Legolas see Saruman squatting on the ground by men and orcs playing a sleight-of-hand game of cups with a marble or an eyeball. Saruman smiles apologetically, and Gandalf shakes his head, despairing of Saruman.

The five walk on. They pass the tree over Boromir's grave, which has burst into red blossom. Then they come to the road that leads to the Shire. Sam covers his ears when Frodo says, "I can't, dear Sam. I have been pierced by blade, sting and tooth...I can't....."

Sam alone walks into the Shire. The Hobbits welcome him with banners, and his buxom girlfriend embraces him.

Gandalf pulls out a firework, but it sputters and fails to light.

Frodo, Gandalf, Gimli, and Legolas keep walking past the Shire. They come to sand dunes. They see Arwen and hear the sound of waves and gulls. Frodo and Gandalf keep walking towards a small sailing boat lying at anchor.

Gimli and Legolas watch Frodo and Gandalf join Galadriel, Elrond, Bilbo, and Arwen in the boat, which "is cluttered with ancient tomes, mysterious alchemical objects, beautiful cloth, and dried fish."

Gimli suggests to Legolas that the two of them remain there on the beach (as opposed to going to a cave or a forest), and Legolas agrees. The seashell symbolizes their compromise: It is of stone, yet alive.

The boat sets sail. Gimli cups his hand to his ear and hears Gandalf say, "Across the ocean, I shall talk less and laugh more."

Here are the last words of the script:

"But it is a Hobbit's laugh that comes tinkling over the sound of the waves, and it belongs unmistakably to Frodo. He laughs happily and the others join him. A rainbow arcs up from the water beyond the little craft.

LEGOLAS: Look! Only seven colours. Indeed the world is failing...

The tiny vessel sails on, a smudge on the glistening sea."

And that's the end!

[Professor P]

Thanks for the summary! Exalted!

[crusssdaddy]

Gimli knows who the Greeks are?

Awesome. Shadowfax pulling a plow and Saruman working a tourist scam are nice touches. This is an appealing remedy for Peter Jackson's noisy, maudlin films.

[Deleted]

Thanks for typing all that up Geoffrey, wonderfully entertaining.

[xerxez]

Yes, thanks so much. I didn't know this existed.

Strangely, rather than being appalled, I find myself wishing it would have been filmed.

[jasons]

I'm listening to the soundtrack from Excalibur and wondering if Boorman would have used the Wagner and Orff stuff (and for what moments) or if he would have commissioned a psychedelic rock band instead. Black Sabbath would have been an interesting choice for the era, at least for the Mordor scenes. Now that I think about it, it probably wouldn't be hard to cherry pic Zeppelin songs and cobble them into a LOTR soundtrack...

[arcadayn]

Wow. That was pretty awesome. I like how the orcs and Saruman are redeemed at the end. I can easily see this script as a stage adaptation.

Thanks for all the work Geoffrey. This was totally cool.

[librarylass]

Not gonna lie-- this sounds like just about the most amazingly insane thing ever and I wish I could get my hands on the screenplay-- or better yet a dimensional machine so I can go pick it up on DVD.

[gronkthebold]

Thank you for the fantastic summaries Geoffrey, it was a very entertaining read!

[tkdco2]

Belated thanks, geoffrey. I'll never complain about Jackson's adaptation of LOTR again. The Hobbit movies, however...

On a related note, I was reading a MERP supplement today when I realized that Misty Mountains would be a great name for a porn star! 

[Deleted]

Good Evening,

I'd like to ask you Geoffrey if there is any possibility to read the whole LOTR sceenplay, if u can upload it here. I might think that lots of people,like me, would be very grateful to you for the rest of our lives

Thanks